This is an excerpt from an email from my dear old friend which got me laughing out loud at 5 in the morning. (Some minor edits):
Oh yeah so let me tell you the only scandal in my life is vicarious scandal.. through the next door neighbours adjoining wall... Loud screaming, giggling, oomphs and aahs. I think the guys (two cina dudes) were pushing the girls into the toilet or something.. I know cos I went out into the corridor to investigate. [my housemate] was very tickled. Hmph. Laugh at my wrath...laugh, laugh some more... HMPH. So anyway one of the girls is called Valerie. I know this because I could hear 'Ahhahaha Valerie's turn!' then loud shrieks ensued. My apartment building is U-shaped so if everyone goes onto the balcony we could have a conference of sorts, with everyone yelling SHUTTUP, SHADDAP LA, DIAM LA, AN JING, BLOODY 'ELL SHUT UP just like a UN conference sia, so many countries. Anyway me representing Singapore, rang up reception (my building is half a hotel... will explain another day) and complained in my best little girl voice. Minutes later the big ang moh guy on duty (I know he's big cos of the heavy footsteps) bangs on the revellers' door and tells them to stop the noise and he doesnt want any more complaints and if there are any more complaints the girls will have to leave (btw I once had the misfortune of running into one of the guys when he was wearing nothing but a towel.. my misfortune, trust me) and he would KICK them out. The guys were like 'sorry ah, okay sorry!' then reception buzzed me and told me if they continued making noise he would KICK them out. I think he liked that phrase.. Like how you've always wanted to say 'twas a stormy night,' 'charge!' and 'here's lookin at you kid.' Know what I mean? Yeah so now all they do is play techno very loudly. Aiyee aiyee I'm your little butterfly yourself, mister.
I miss you babe! More entertaining emails please... i'm dying from exaaaaaaams.
