You know how you once knew this person, and then somehow along the way as life progressed, you gradually sort of 'un-knew' him (or her, whichever applies) so much so that your once childhood playmate could become a practical stranger now that you see him on the bus? That's what I'm talking about.
Is it just Singapore or is this phenomenon common in other parts of the world as well? I've been wanting to blog about this for some time now, it's been swimming in my head... I just didn't have the time to sit down and ponder about it seriously. Back in primary 3, 4 and 5 you could be playing hopscotch and soccer and table tennis and catching with these people on an almost daily basis... and mind you, these people live just a street away, and somehow, as you grow up and move on into secondary school, junior college, university.... you somehow seem to move farther and farther away from them. Even though the physical distance remains the same, you become worlds apart. The next time you see each other on the bus, you both pretend that you don't even know each other. There is no acknowledgement, not even a concerted effort to hide in one corner -- there is just that cold indifference where you can't even tell if you have ever registered in that other person's life.
Why? How?
I'd love it if someone could explain it to me.
----
A friend was recently contemplating her life... you know those bouts of self-doubt and disillusionment we all get into at one point or another. It's one of those group email thingies and this was part of a reply to her thoughts... ...by another friend:
Civility and CultureNote that this is the here and now. Not what it is. Civility as we knew it has gone the way of cute, well-to-do, straight men – EXTINCTION. Especially in Singapore, our culture is Greed, our philosophy is More and our laws (even those governing relationships), Economics. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. After that, call it kalamansi and mass produce it in a hot, tropical asian country and make a lot of money. When there is no more utilitarian value to lime (or relationships), move on. That’s how progress comes about.
On the other hand, there is no need to become a hermit. There are those who feel the same way as you. It’s just a matter of finding them. In any case, take comfort in knowing that you’re still human enough to think about these things. There are a number of economic digits (this also addresses issue of identity and relationships) riding on the MRT trains who couldn’t care less about “fluff” like this. Which is understandable since they’re too busy scheming their way up to middle management to even have regular sex. But I digress.
The first part of her reply may be a bit harsh, but you can't help but acknowledge the truth in it, whether part or in full. Everything is economically driven nowadays, even relationships, and I truly feel that if you can establish relationships that are beyond the material, we should really do everything within our power to keep them going strong. It's these things beyond the material that will survive fashion trends and economic bubbles and keep us company when we are old and wrinkly and tottering about on three legs.
What's important is not to be bogged down by the negatives in life. There will always, always be people in your life who tell you that you can't do this, can't do that, that you'll never succeed doing a certain thing a certain way... Some may be good-intentioned of course, but at the end of the day, if it's something you're passionate about, just do it and when you succeed, you can tell them all to piss off. I think that as long as people keep in mind what the important things to them in life are, they can't go far wrong. It's only when you lose yourself in things that don't matter in the long run that people become disillusioned and cold and insensitive to society. Always, always remember the things that are important to you --- your family, close friends, loved ones. Without that focal point in our lives, we are all lost souls.
